Glorious, glorious old age

Here's the bad news about old age, sometimes you miss things.

Here's the good news, sometimes the things you miss or misinterpret turn out to be better than you originally took them to be.

I'll be 62 in June. I have fully embraced being older, old, who knows? I know I like it.

I thought the earliest I could collect Social Security benefits was age 62 1/2. I don't know where I got this from and don't care, cause guess what? I can begin collecting benefits at age 62. Three months away.

Never before in my life have I had a guaranteed income. The thought of getting a check every month is better than sex (or the thought of sex, I won't give you more information than you can handle).

I am not a person who needs to live on the beach, when I can visit the beach.

I don't take any prescription medications and don't intend to.

I love a good pot of beans, some home made corn bread and vegetables fresh from my garden.

I used to be cute and fashionable, but now two pairs of jeans and lots of Tshirts and white men's shirts are all the clothes I require.

I have a good mattress and a Volvo station wagon.

I'm saying this to say that my material needs are very small.

This means my Social Security check will cover my needs and still leave plenty left over to do all of the things I want to do. Take a major trip once a year and run down to Baja Mexico or up to Northern California every other month.

Do my art, and not worry about pleasing anyone but myself. No meeting competition guidelines, no keeping up with current trends, no concerns about relevance or marketing, what's in and what's passe. I am officially out of the game!

I can spend my time taking classes at an adult education center, museum, art center, gardening center. Attend lectures, volunteer.

I can stop writing blog articles, twittering, playing Etsy and Facebook games. Do I care if you ever find me or my work on the internet? No. Cell phones, Nike, face lifts, spanx, hair dye, iphones, ipods, ienough, genetically engineered food, foolish politicians, stupid supervisors, what other people think, I am through with all of that.

I can wake up, walk the dog, work in the garden, straighten up the house, go into the studio and stay until midnight or 4am in the morning if I want to. Or not.

I can get into movies for half price, ride public transportation for $17 a month, get discounts at thrift stores, half price meals at restaurants, move into low cost senior housing and spend a weekend at the Ritz Carlton when I need luxury, buy an Amtrak pass and see the country or a Eurail pass, stay in Elderhostels and see the world, and really just about anything else I want to do.

Listen, decide what's important to you in life, eat well and exercise, take joy in being alive, be kind to children, animals and old folks. Work hard and enjoy what you are doing. Kick stress to the curb whenever it comes calling. Find a few good people you can call friends and hang on to them for dear life. And know that if you keep it simple and stay happy one day you too will retire and that retirement is absolutely and positively a glorious, glorious thing.